I like to take my shoes off and have fun at my friend’s house. He is a good friend who has a nice hardwood floor that I love to slide my socks on. Sometimes I pretend I’m a cross country skier or a speed skater and sometimes we do the Risky Business slide after a wine! God, I LOVE that floor, so fun, oh my God, the memories made and all the memories to come!
About the Risky Business slide, we never, and I want to emphasize NEVER do the slide in our underwear like they did in that raunchfest the critics called a film. I’m not comfortable seeing a man’s leg past the kneecap and luckily neither is my good good friend. We agree some stuff should stay behind closed doors.
If I were to see my friends leg from the kneecap up, I don’t think that I could stand to be in the same room as him to tell you the flat earth truth and I don’t know how he could stand being in the same room as me knowing that I had seen him exposed like that.
I know some of you reading this are like, Mr. Joshua C. Paulson, math teacher to a generation of future engineers and NASA big wigs, men see men like that everyday in locker rooms across this nation that was built on the blood of both the innocent and the guilty, it’s no big deal!
Well, to those of you saying that, I say, How does it feel sucking poison milk morning, noon, and night from the endlessly dripping bared breast of the liberal media who wants you all to become so defiled that you’ll shill out all your hard earned dollars to buy the gum that will make your breath smell like you can provide security for the daughter of a dirt farmer who toiled forty years in a field of dirt during times both good and bad so that his daughter could go to the city with all the bright lights and bustling butts, shaking and shimmering down sidewalks in a desperate attempt to bless the world with her art, full well knowing that unless she made a way for herself, she’d have to marry a man like you or return to work the fields of dirt that are full of the sweat and blood of her father?
Everyday, I sit in a classroom full of kids that I know have been exposed to this ugliness and it breaks my heart and I can see on their faces the horror and I know that one day it will lead to our downfall. Do you know that in my dreams I see the Statue of Liberty melting and the Grand Canyon full of cockroaches? Do you know that I’ve rubbed the nose of the Lincoln statue in Springfield and begged forgiveness? I know there is no way to stop it. I’m the only one who knows the cure for the disease, but the people in Washington are to busy to listen, more focused on the fashions of the day to hear from a man who has looked into the future and has seen their capital castrated.
Sometimes it pains me so, but luckily I have one good friend. One good friend with hardwood floors, luckily I’ve never seen the top of his leg or I’d be so alone in a house with carpeted floors, writing manifestos about why menfolk should keep on their drawers! Truly blessed, I am (read in Yoda voice to make it fun!).
And to any of my students reading this: Pop Quiz Friday! Covers Chapter 6-7. See I told you it would pay to read my blog! Share it for extra credit!
That’s it for now,
Cecil Paulson+Celia Derrickandpaulasdaughterburgowitz=Me (Joshua C. Paulson)